This is the sixth in the series of 26 I will be doing in August. It’s a challenge to myself to see if I can keep to a daily deadline. It’s been a long time since my CSN days!
Ogg tell you: Ogg’s mate so fat, when she sit around cave, she sit AROUND cave!
- Ogg, the World’s First Standup Comic
(and, not coincidentally, World’s First Divorced Man)
Having passed 300 pounds going the wrong way, I am allowed to tell fat jokes. (See the previous blog entry about Ethnic Jokes). Besides, fat people are one of those minority groups you’re still allowed to tell jokes about. Like Episcopalians. Or Blondes. Or insurance salesmen. Or blonde Episcopalian insurance salesmen.
Listen, I know a guy who’s so fat that when a waiter shows him a menu, he says, “Yes!”
A good part about being overweight is lack of exercise and overeating—but there are genetic and other components. On the other hand, it is to the insurance companies’ advantage to classify as many people as possible as overweight, because then they can charge higher premiums.
I exercise regularly on the Wii Fit—which includes an electronic foot pad which doubles as a scale. Somebody loaded an elementary Body Mass Index program onto the system, and after asking for your height, the Wii weighs. It runs the numbers against its tables.
There is nothing in the WORLD so infuriating as hearing the Wiii’s cheerful little voice chirp out, “You’re Obese!”
(Thank you for the news flash, Captain Obvious)
I knew a woman who was so fat, she had her own area code. People ran around her for exercise.
I read recently that overweight people are more vulnerable to diabetes, heart disease and arterial disease. I also read that oversized clothing is more expensive, and that airlines are thinking of charging extra to their heftier passengers.
It’s really galvanized me into action: I’m going to stop reading.